1. The AtlanticGail Cornwall8/31/217 min
    34 reads7 comments
    The Atlantic
    34 reads
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    • coljac2 years ago

      It looks like parental regret is tracking at 5-8% according to the various statistics in this article. That's actually pretty low. In other words, parental satisfaction is north of 90%. That's higher than I would have thought. Parenting is one of those things where the negatives are a bit taboo (or joked about), so lots of people (I believe) go into it less well informed than they could be.

      I am sure you can hate the tedium of parenthood and its other costs in terms of self-sacrifice, without resenting or taking it out on the child. I have a.. friend... who has experience of this.

    • loundytampa2 years ago

      Lost depressing article to date

    • chrissetiana
      Top reader this weekTop reader of all time
      2 years ago

      I hate that I relate to these stories. The love is there, yes, but so is the exhaustion which leads to resentment… and we don't talk about it well enough. We can't.

      Her words felt so taboo that she asked to be referred to by only her first name.

      • Karenz2 years ago

        I wish more people would be honest about how hard it is to raise kids. As a therapist, I’m very affirming to parents when they report their struggles. Having raised four of my own I know personally as well as professionally that parenthood is one of the hardest jobs we do. Exhaustion is a big culprit, then there’s the incredible expense and amount of patience required. The reward for me is loving my grown children more than any other humans on the planet. They are so much fun and such good people. I have NEVER wished they were babies again!!!

      • SEnkey2 years ago

        It's hard to belong to others and let them belong to us if we don't feel like we belong to ourselves. Obligation is the death of intimacy. I totally agree - exhaustion leads to resentment, and resentment leads to exhaustion.

        None of that means we aren't good people, or good parents, or less valuable or deserving. It just means we are human.

    • SEnkey2 years ago

      We could do so much more to help parents. I personally am very pro-natalist. I believe so many of the worlds ills will be solved with more people, not less. I'm as anti-Malthusian as they come. So birth to high school child care ( we're 80% there with public school), parental leave, child tax credits etc.

      Last thought on this - THERAPY. I am a better human, partner, and parent because of it. I highly recommend it to everyone.

    • Jessica2 years ago

      A little bit of sadness filled me as I read this piece.