I also believe that our life’s purpose is growth. Additionally, you have to wake up every day choosing to love. Love is intentional. Growth should be as well. Good luck to us all.
Hands down the best article I have ever read on love! I agree with this 100%. I have always felt that the more I invested in excavating my true self, clearing all the limiting beliefs and cultural conditioning from my past, the more I would have to offer those in my life. I love the growth process even though it is painful because on the other side is so much more of myself that was waiting to be realized. I’m certainly not down playing the process because I’ve had many traumas and breakdowns but the rebuilding has always made me stronger, wiser and more authentic. That makes for a more compassionate, loving and present partner - whether my romantic partner or close friends. Growth is empowering.
Beautiful! This article reinforces some things that I have felt about reading and love for a very long time: energy is real, growth is everything, and truth is freedom.
Had I read this piece outside of the context of Readup, I think I easily could have “missed” it. Context is everything. Knowing that some people I love loved it makes a huge difference. That’s what I mean by “energy is real.” Whether it’s a meal, a movie, or a walk in the park, if you’re doing it with someone you love, and if they’re charged up, that energy pours over to you. No man is an island. This concept, to an extent, has become the foundation of my spiritual practice; Gandhi’s “Be the change you want to see,” is way more than just modeling good behavior, it’s about creating fountains or sources of positivity that grow, expand, spread, evolve.
From the article:
most people get into relationships to satisfy their own personal needs.
I think that that’s so true, but there’s a deep paradox here. Individuals should be “selfish” to an extent - improving themselves, growing themselves, for themselves and for their partners. It’s dangerous to be 100% focused on “the relationship” because it can mean that you ignore your own inner voice when it inevitably conflicts with the relationship. These moments of conflict (Arjuna on the battlefield!) are where “radical honesty” becomes so important. It’s something I have really screwed up in the past.
From your comment:
the rebuilding has always made me stronger, wiser and more authentic.
Yes yes yes, a million times yes. This is stratospheric-level wisdom. Stumbling blocks are stepping stones. Day requires night. Light requires dark.
This has been a wonderful, deep reading/thinking experience.
Love the point you made about reading the article knowing it has impacted someone whom you care about. The way I resolve the paradox about personal fulfilment vs relationship growth is that the point is less about who gets fulfilled and more about time scales. Once you understand that growth is a goal, you’re willing to go through troughs to reach a destination that will be more fulfilling overall. If concerned with personal fulfilment, every stumble in the relationship can feel like something was taken away— a constant running scorecard.
I think humans have a limited ability to tell how our current circumstances will evolve to eventually reach the place we want to be. But if all i have to do is loosen our grip on the handbrake so the relationship can take its course, that feels like something I can wrap my head around. It also calls on me to trust that the relationship will take its best course, and trust in positive outcomes seems to have self-fulfilling qualities.
I love the visual "loosen our grip on the handbrake." Brilliant! It accurately portrays the way we take action to not take action, to let "the wild" run its course.
Hi Bill, You made my day! I thought this article was SO important and wanted to share it with as many people as possible. Thanks for pulling it out of the basement and giving it the spotlight it deserves! My dream would be AOTD but perhaps it’s too short. Doesn’t matter, whoever needs it will read it!
Thanks fo Readup for finding and sharing this. So true and perfect timing when we’re all focused on love and relationships at the moment. But even rings true for why so many of us are feeling stagnant and depressed during the pandemic. We’re not learning, growing, experiencing nearly as much as we used to. Reading is one of the only safe ways to do so now.
Having just completed a Fun, Challenging (in all the right ways - without GPS and only via client directions), Heart-Warming weekend of delivering flowers and not reading much here in the midst ————> This is such a wonderful and valuably appropriate first read upon ReadUp return after 3 day break.
I decorated my white mask the first day with: Love Is A Wild Thing. A stellar tune about Love, imho, from Kacey Musgraves.
(Second day I decorated with: I’ll Stop the World and Melt with you ~ which was dualistic for the holiday and massive snow fall we received).
Here are the lyrics to LIAWT:
You can't find it sitting on a shelf in a store
If you try to hide it, it's gonna shine even more
Even if you lose it, it will find you
There's no way to stop it, but they'll try to
Running like a river trying to find the ocean
Flowers in the concrete
Climbing over fences, blooming in the shadows
Places that you can't see
Coming through the melody when the night bird sings
Love is a wild thing, yeah
Oh, I can feel it, magic in your fingertips
And I can hear it in the words coming off your lips
Even if you lose me, I will find you
There's no way to stop it, so don't try to
Running like a river trying to find the ocean
Flowers in the concrete
Climbing over fences, blooming in the shadows
Places that you can't see
Coming through the melody when the night bird sings
Love is a wild thing
Oh, I used to be scared of the wilderness, of the dark
But not anymore, anymore, no
Running like a river trying to find the ocean
Flowers in the concrete
Climbing over fences blooming in the shadows
Places that you can't see
Coming through the melody when the night bird sings
Love is a wild thing
Love is a wild thing
Love is a wild thing, yeah
Sincerest wishes that everyone has felt and shared Precious Moments of Conscious Love Today.
Excellent stuff. It’s easy to read and understand and yet so hard to actually live by.
This is what it really boils down to:
I also believe that our life’s purpose is growth. Additionally, you have to wake up every day choosing to love. Love is intentional. Growth should be as well. Good luck to us all.
Hands down the best article I have ever read on love! I agree with this 100%. I have always felt that the more I invested in excavating my true self, clearing all the limiting beliefs and cultural conditioning from my past, the more I would have to offer those in my life. I love the growth process even though it is painful because on the other side is so much more of myself that was waiting to be realized. I’m certainly not down playing the process because I’ve had many traumas and breakdowns but the rebuilding has always made me stronger, wiser and more authentic. That makes for a more compassionate, loving and present partner - whether my romantic partner or close friends. Growth is empowering.
Beautiful! This article reinforces some things that I have felt about reading and love for a very long time: energy is real, growth is everything, and truth is freedom.
Had I read this piece outside of the context of Readup, I think I easily could have “missed” it. Context is everything. Knowing that some people I love loved it makes a huge difference. That’s what I mean by “energy is real.” Whether it’s a meal, a movie, or a walk in the park, if you’re doing it with someone you love, and if they’re charged up, that energy pours over to you. No man is an island. This concept, to an extent, has become the foundation of my spiritual practice; Gandhi’s “Be the change you want to see,” is way more than just modeling good behavior, it’s about creating fountains or sources of positivity that grow, expand, spread, evolve.
From the article:
I think that that’s so true, but there’s a deep paradox here. Individuals should be “selfish” to an extent - improving themselves, growing themselves, for themselves and for their partners. It’s dangerous to be 100% focused on “the relationship” because it can mean that you ignore your own inner voice when it inevitably conflicts with the relationship. These moments of conflict (Arjuna on the battlefield!) are where “radical honesty” becomes so important. It’s something I have really screwed up in the past.
From your comment:
Yes yes yes, a million times yes. This is stratospheric-level wisdom. Stumbling blocks are stepping stones. Day requires night. Light requires dark.
This has been a wonderful, deep reading/thinking experience.
Love the point you made about reading the article knowing it has impacted someone whom you care about. The way I resolve the paradox about personal fulfilment vs relationship growth is that the point is less about who gets fulfilled and more about time scales. Once you understand that growth is a goal, you’re willing to go through troughs to reach a destination that will be more fulfilling overall. If concerned with personal fulfilment, every stumble in the relationship can feel like something was taken away— a constant running scorecard.
I think humans have a limited ability to tell how our current circumstances will evolve to eventually reach the place we want to be. But if all i have to do is loosen our grip on the handbrake so the relationship can take its course, that feels like something I can wrap my head around. It also calls on me to trust that the relationship will take its best course, and trust in positive outcomes seems to have self-fulfilling qualities.
Wow, yea. Beautiful comment.
I love the visual "loosen our grip on the handbrake." Brilliant! It accurately portrays the way we take action to not take action, to let "the wild" run its course.
Hi Bill, You made my day! I thought this article was SO important and wanted to share it with as many people as possible. Thanks for pulling it out of the basement and giving it the spotlight it deserves! My dream would be AOTD but perhaps it’s too short. Doesn’t matter, whoever needs it will read it!
🆙👍📈
On track!
It’s beyond perfect for Valentine’s Day.
❣️
💕💗💖💘💝💞💓
Happy Valentine’s Day, Readup!
Enjoy this excellent little 5-minuter that tackles the convergence of love, work, growth & life itself.
Thanks fo Readup for finding and sharing this. So true and perfect timing when we’re all focused on love and relationships at the moment. But even rings true for why so many of us are feeling stagnant and depressed during the pandemic. We’re not learning, growing, experiencing nearly as much as we used to. Reading is one of the only safe ways to do so now.
❤️
📝 Intentionality. Commitment. Growth-focused.
🆙
Having just completed a Fun, Challenging (in all the right ways - without GPS and only via client directions), Heart-Warming weekend of delivering flowers and not reading much here in the midst ————> This is such a wonderful and valuably appropriate first read upon ReadUp return after 3 day break.
I decorated my white mask the first day with: Love Is A Wild Thing. A stellar tune about Love, imho, from Kacey Musgraves.
(Second day I decorated with: I’ll Stop the World and Melt with you ~ which was dualistic for the holiday and massive snow fall we received).
Here are the lyrics to LIAWT:
You can't find it sitting on a shelf in a store If you try to hide it, it's gonna shine even more Even if you lose it, it will find you There's no way to stop it, but they'll try to Running like a river trying to find the ocean Flowers in the concrete Climbing over fences, blooming in the shadows Places that you can't see Coming through the melody when the night bird sings Love is a wild thing, yeah Oh, I can feel it, magic in your fingertips And I can hear it in the words coming off your lips Even if you lose me, I will find you There's no way to stop it, so don't try to Running like a river trying to find the ocean Flowers in the concrete Climbing over fences, blooming in the shadows Places that you can't see Coming through the melody when the night bird sings Love is a wild thing Oh, I used to be scared of the wilderness, of the dark But not anymore, anymore, no Running like a river trying to find the ocean Flowers in the concrete Climbing over fences blooming in the shadows Places that you can't see Coming through the melody when the night bird sings Love is a wild thing Love is a wild thing Love is a wild thing, yeah
Sincerest wishes that everyone has felt and shared Precious Moments of Conscious Love Today.
💐
Wow. Sums up a lot of what I’ve learned about loving relationships in a surprisingly pithy article.