Take a page from Derek Sivers’ book Anything You Want. Sivers argues there should be no “yes” in our vocabulary. It’s either “HELL YEAH” or “No.” If you’re not gung-ho and ready to throw yourself into the endeavor, opt out. Sivers says, “When you say ‘no’ to most things, you leave room in your life to really throw yourself completely into that rare thing that makes you say, ‘HELL YEAH!'”

If someone gets upset, then it wasn’t a sincere relationship to begin with. People who truly care about you will respect your boundaries and trust that you know what’s best for you.