After six infusions over three weeks, I didn’t notice any easing of my depression. I still felt sad, dispirited and anxious; nothing had changed. So I called it off. For the first time I realized how powerfully depression is ingrained within my brain. I understood that chronic depression might not respond to language and thoughts, that only a rewiring of the brain’s neural pathways might dislodge it.
What if I’m permanently stuck in a ketamine loop?