They work for some, they don't for others. The numbers that are discussed conveniently only talk about the positive outcomes and leave out any comparative statistics about how they work in the process. How many people have no luck on those platforms whatsoever despite all their effort? Which feelings are involved compared to traditional dating? (compare with social media's relation to FOMO, anxiety, ...) and what's the incidence of those? I'm sure there's interesting figures out there for the "dating app fatigue" camp to back up their anecdotal claims. But those are less likely to be shared by the Tinders of our time whose business model benefits from people actually not having successful dates - just hundreds of shallow swipes & chats with no real consequence, so more ads can be inserted in between. A good article nonetheless.
On the one hand, I can understand the impulse to focus on anecdotal evidence; if you meet the love of your life on a dating app, it doesn’t matter how the swiping made you feel to get there.
On the other hand, people have been falling in love without tech for a long time. So, yeah, let’s talk about the ramifications of all the swiping and sadness.
My favorite part of your comment is this:
How many people have no luck on those platforms whatsoever despite all their effort?
That’s real. And vaguely disturbing. But, overall, my hunch is that Tinder is “activating” more people (to sex, relationships) than it is closing doors for people.
I hope it too! And of course, my thoughts on this also come from anecdotal evidence.
I've seen them work - I know Grindr is a much appreciated outlet for a friend - and I've seen them fail. I didn't get too much luck or enjoyment from Tinder, while a good-looking female flatmate got about 60 matches in her first few hours of swiping.
Both are problematic actually. I felt frustrated that a few pictures and words should describe a person (on either side). She had some dates but eventually deleted the app. She didn't want to spend energy dealing with the overload of matches. I hope there's apps with more quality > quantity considerations :)
Very much so! I also find the stance that data could conclusively settle this debate to be mistaken. Data only tells a part of the story, there is so much we can't (yet) measure.
They definitely work. Most “young” people I know have at least tried them. I did go to a Tinder wedding last year. People my age seem to prefer a deeper profile E Harmony kind of thing.
I've Never tried a dating app. When I divorced my first wife 17 years ago, apps weren't a thing. I did consider trying a web-based dating site, but didn't try one. I met my current wife at a meeting. and we started dating, and then got married. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't met her? Probably a dating site...
Yeah, I definitely think there is a generational component at play. I never used one but I married young and was just pre-smart phone (freshmen year of college was 2005). But for a lot of my younger friends or still single friends they obviously work.
They work for some, they don't for others. The numbers that are discussed conveniently only talk about the positive outcomes and leave out any comparative statistics about how they work in the process. How many people have no luck on those platforms whatsoever despite all their effort? Which feelings are involved compared to traditional dating? (compare with social media's relation to FOMO, anxiety, ...) and what's the incidence of those? I'm sure there's interesting figures out there for the "dating app fatigue" camp to back up their anecdotal claims. But those are less likely to be shared by the Tinders of our time whose business model benefits from people actually not having successful dates - just hundreds of shallow swipes & chats with no real consequence, so more ads can be inserted in between. A good article nonetheless.
So true.
On the one hand, I can understand the impulse to focus on anecdotal evidence; if you meet the love of your life on a dating app, it doesn’t matter how the swiping made you feel to get there.
On the other hand, people have been falling in love without tech for a long time. So, yeah, let’s talk about the ramifications of all the swiping and sadness.
My favorite part of your comment is this:
That’s real. And vaguely disturbing. But, overall, my hunch is that Tinder is “activating” more people (to sex, relationships) than it is closing doors for people.
I hope it too! And of course, my thoughts on this also come from anecdotal evidence.
I've seen them work - I know Grindr is a much appreciated outlet for a friend - and I've seen them fail. I didn't get too much luck or enjoyment from Tinder, while a good-looking female flatmate got about 60 matches in her first few hours of swiping.
Both are problematic actually. I felt frustrated that a few pictures and words should describe a person (on either side). She had some dates but eventually deleted the app. She didn't want to spend energy dealing with the overload of matches. I hope there's apps with more quality > quantity considerations :)
Great points! I enjoyed the article as well, but also to answer the author's question directly: "Because nothing should ever not be up for debate!"
Very much so! I also find the stance that data could conclusively settle this debate to be mistaken. Data only tells a part of the story, there is so much we can't (yet) measure.
Well said. Your comments reminded me of a great article I read a few months back in The New Atlantis: Why Data is Never Raw
They definitely work. Most “young” people I know have at least tried them. I did go to a Tinder wedding last year. People my age seem to prefer a deeper profile E Harmony kind of thing.
8am, Tuesday morning, and I'm binging on excellent writing about dating apps. This stuff is fascinating
The videos are worth the view!
Sweet! Thx for the heads!
I've Never tried a dating app. When I divorced my first wife 17 years ago, apps weren't a thing. I did consider trying a web-based dating site, but didn't try one. I met my current wife at a meeting. and we started dating, and then got married. I wonder what would have happened if I hadn't met her? Probably a dating site...
Yeah, I definitely think there is a generational component at play. I never used one but I married young and was just pre-smart phone (freshmen year of college was 2005). But for a lot of my younger friends or still single friends they obviously work.