If the aim of adversity narratives is to identify disadvantaged individuals and help them excel, then we should bear in mind that such individuals won’t necessarily write about their lives in ways that conform to our expectations. If someone discusses their disadvantages in an understated manner, or in ways we aren’t used to, then perhaps those are exactly the individuals we should pay more attention to. And if someone is especially adept at accentuating their marginalisation, then that person may not be as marginalised as they claim.

Especially in early adult hood. I don't want to trauma-bomb anyone so let's just say it has taken years for me to recognize the trauma of my upbringing and process it - and it is an ongoing project. So many things seem normal to the marginalized that just aren't, but the very fact that you come from the background is why you can't explain it.

There is a book called "Spilled Milk" about a girl in an abusive home. She doesn't realize how bad it is until she is at a friend's and the little brother spills his milk. She rushes to clean it up and takes the little brother by the hand to go and hide with him all while insisting how okay everything is....as the family looks on in confusion. "Hey, we know it's okay, where are you going? Sit down and breathe - it's just milk". This was the eye opener for her.

But for many those don't happen for years! Or they happen in stages.

Recognizing and processing doesn't mean you can easily express it either.